Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The Professional liar. The Third Liar.

The Professional liar is a conman or woman who cheats or tricks someone by means of a confidence game. He is the one who goes about deceiving daily for his living. His identity is only in the characteristics that identifies him. He is a manipulator and a great pretender. Manipulations are his master key; his victim’s weaknesses are his area of operation.

They are very insecure about themselves that they have to make up lies to convince themselves that they are something when in reality they are nothing. I don’t think they actually like themselves, they have cannibalistic tendencies. They prey on your weaknesses, your believing promises, your assurances, and your sincerity as their instinct tells them how much you want it and crave their bidding. To these tendencies they have neither limits nor conscience.

Generally. we think women don't con. You would be surprised; they do it much better than men occasionally, as they are instinctively wiser than men in certain areas. 

Usually, we think of conman as bad, ugly and ill mannered; in reality they are in most situations good looking, polite, apologetic. Good mannered and kind. Fitting the ideal type of gentleman most women look for. The truth is in the meditations of their heart. If a 'surgeon' cuts open it they would see the ugliest of all wounds ever seen, rotten and festered with dirty ugly maggots.

Conman too have personality who may have been orderly people turned disorderly. They also have a "temperament" which attracts people to them, a character with the look and quality distinct from others. They may look and act well. Standing out in comparison to others, but if you hook them to a polygraph they are evil personalities. When they open their dirty mouth they lie & often times convincing themselves they are telling the truth. 

A professional liar I have known and heard of is a so called "Body Language Expert in Malaysia" who lies to you with his advertising material, when I called his office they told me that this so called expert was trained by the FBI(Federal Bureau of Investigation).

Truly, the FBI don't train trainers to teach lie detection to others, they only get trained to catch people like these professional liars or so called experts who are beyond doubt only expert liars. To detect liars you need not attend their courses but by reading their promotional materials your common sense and your instincts will tell you they cannot be trusted and they are expert liars.

Almost everyone like you and I detect lies some of the time. Some people detect lies most of the time. The very best human lie detectors always look and listen at the same time, they do not rely on truthful behaviors to cloud their analyzing of your responses, they apply good and strategic questionings skills and have their brains trained to look and hear your nonverbal and verbal deceptive indicators.

The other fact is, it's harder to lie with you face. No matter how good you are at detecting lies, you can get better at reading the face and its micro expressions together with the words, ask yourself does it harmonize with his words or do they contradict his words.

In my 2 decades of experience teaching this subject of lying, I taught the Special Branch of the Royal Malaysia Police to help them learn to become experts at reading deceptive behaviors both verbal and nonverbal. I had also taught--not to mention the Customs Department, Immigration, Genting Casino Surveillance Personnel, Lawyers, Doctors, Investigators, Teachers and a hundred other organizations both in Malaysia and overseas.

If you want to detect deceptive behaviors my favorite deception detection model is also used by the CIA, not that I was trained by the CIA, like a body language trainer locally who claims he was trained by the FBI. To me if you say you trained the FBI or CIA, I may believe you. For example, If Paul Ekman, who wrote books on the subject of detecting the truth from facial expression, tells me he was trained by the FBI, I will know it is a lie. But if he says he trained the FBI, I may believe him for sure.

There is no such "career" as a lie detector, you can however learn the "skill" of lie detection by learning a model of deception detection that I teach which I had learnt, from former CIA Agents and not from the CIA. A book I highly recommend to you, "Spy The Lie" written by, Philip Houston, Michael Floyd & Susan Carnicero, these three former CIA employees who teach detecting deceptive behaviors through a simple but highly effective behavior assessment model based upon the science of polygraph chart analysis.

Easier than reading a book for some would certainly be attending my lie detection programs, at the FURAMA Hotel, Bukit Bintang or The Pullman Hotel, Kuala Lumpur.

In my next articles, I will tell you one of the four remaining types of liars either the Psychopathic Liar, the Pathological Liar who is a compulsive liar who believes convincingly that he is telling the truth. The Prepared Liar who comes prepared to tell his lies at an inquiry or interview. Or the most common of all liars, The Plain Liar who thinks that lying is a social game and tells it off as though he is highly clever.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

The Political Liar, The Sixth Liar.

How long can we the ordinary hard working people of the world be literally forced with lies down our throat and then to stomach it. Not long, as it is said by the Psalmist in the scriptures, “Just a little while longer and the wicked shall be no more, and you will certainly give attention to his place, for the meek ones themselves will possess the earth and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace, without lies.”

Lies are not only told in Malaysia by politicians here, but sadly a global occurrence these days, every day.

Cases of spouses deceiving their partners, ‘Romeos’ their ‘Juliets,’ ‘Juliets,’ their ‘Romeos,’ lying to parents. Some lie to their children, a few students deceive their teachers, a few deceive their students too, a number of examinees deceive their examiners, several employees deceive their employers, several employers deceive their employees, a number of clients their customers, a little bosses deceive their bosses and the list goes on and on.

But the grandest of all truths is that Satan the devil is the father of all lies.
Therefore deception is evil, to deceive is evil and to be deceptive is evil.

The 6 types of liars.

(1) The Plain Liar who thinks lying is a social game and tells it off as though     he is highly clever. 

(2) The Prepared Liar who comes prepared to tell his lies at an enquiry or    
interview, investigation or interrogation. 

(3) The Professional Liar or Conman who goes about deceiving to earn his despicable living.        

(4) The Pathological Liar also called Pseudologia fantastica is a behavior of habitual or compulsive lying. It is when an individual consistently lies for no personal gain and who believes convincingly that he is telling the truth. The lies are commonly obvious and often seem rather useless or senseless.

(5) The Psychopathic liar though like pathological lying, but with a difference, in that he has an 'unhealthy' difference with extreme narcissistic tendencies, or extreme selfishness and a self-centeredness that features a mental disordered state. A personality that goes through life trying to gain acclaim, and power through harming people and situations profoundly.

(6) The Political Liar who treats the world’s citizenry as easy to fool to cover
anything, their racism, their torture of detainees in suspicion of terrorism.         As justified in the recent release of truths in the United State’s US Senate’s     2014 Torture Report. Nothing new to me as history never fails, it always           repeats.

Former US Vice President Dick Cheney lied, President Bush lied, the CIA lied, the United States Intelligence Arm lied and the highest of their Political leaders lied, that the United States was not involved in any of the hideous acts that they did commit deliberately.

Violating both US Constitutional law, military law as well as International law when they, the US created secret jails and tortured, possibly thousands of innocent lives under their sanctioned anti-terrorism act.

Do we then trust politicians wherever we live? I don’t think any of us do.  While credit should be given to President Obama to making the US Senate’s 2014 Torture Report public, personally, I don’t trust him either.


A politician’s deception here is when President Barack Obama said in his State of the Union address that the country’s progress toward energy independence can be measured in miles per gallon when he said that Americans had "doubled the distance their cars will go on a gallon of gas."

Journalists then rushed out to the White House asking for backup to this claim, but were disappointed when they did not receive any. It was only a benchmark, a goal for model year 2025 vehicles.

But fuel efficiency in 2009 and now, there was an increase only of 11 percent -- not at all double. Obama’s statement was misleading and more importantly untrue.


Before the first term he lied without blinking but after getting his second term he tries to be honest as Honest Abe. Honest Abe, a name given to Abraham Lincoln who historically was ruled by honesty, before becoming president.


A story goes that when he was working as a young store clerk he once realized he had shortchanged a customer by a few pennies; he then closed his shop and delivered the correct change-regardless of how far he had to walk.


So was Abraham Lincoln’s integrity that he soon became Judge & later President that his judgment was final in all that region of his country. People relied implicitly upon his honesty, integrity, and impartiality.

But in third world countries, like Malaysia, today it is lying & lying to win & win elections & elections, term after term before the politician finally passes on to another politician who continues to sell & sell his soul and spirit to extend & extend his political lying career.

Anyway, politics is not my area of expertise. Teaching lie indicators is my forte, detecting deceptive behavior including that of our politicians is my gift, and in my next article next week, I will tell you how to face the lies of a Professional liar the 2nd lie and how you can avoid been conned by the detecting their lies to your advantage.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

The Wonderful World Of Communication

All human cultures have language; similarly they all have body language. Body language is also called non-verbal communication, body talk, silent language, bodily communication, inter-personal behavior, or even silent talk. But the most correct of all words to describe body language is Non-Linguistic Communication.  

Have you ever wondered if the animals in the forest or in your garden might be actually communicating with their kind or even with other animals? If so you are not wrong.

In reality, “Animals use every sense, gesturing with appendages and body positions; sending and receiving subtle, or not so subtle in the case of frightened skunks, odor signals; squeaking, singing and chirping; sending and receiving electrical signals; flashing lights; changing skin pigmentations; ‘dancing,’ and even tapping and vibrating the surface they walk on.” Do all these signals mean they are communicating important messages or are they rattling away meaningless sounds?
What about plants? Did you know that plants could communicate with other plants and even with a few animals? In a documentary, that I recently discovered to my amazement, on the Netherlands, that Lima bean plants send out distress signal to mites which can kill their attackers.

For example, when these plants get attacked by their enemies the spider mites, these plants are known to release immediately a chemical that attracts other mites which can then fight their enemy spider mites.                       

Many other plants like the corn, tobacco and cotton plants have their own communication mechanism. When they are attacked by caterpillars, they are scientifically known to emit wasp – a deadly enemy to caterpillars.

Plants are also known to send out alarms to protect other undamaged plants whether eaten by caterpillars, injected by fungus or powdery mildew (a destructive growth of minute fungi on plants) or ingested by spider mites the chemical alarm they send also is known to beat up the defense system of undamaged plants heavily.

Communication is a fact it is vital, it is inherent, it is unavoidable and it is amazing that continuous communication ceases when life ceases. Till then all motion and tone that trickles from us communicates. Only rigor mortis or stiffness of death brings communication to a close, and again, it is only after the dead body has itself communicated, that it has now ceased communication. That’s when we are conscious of nothing at all.

Aspiring singers who do not sway their bodies to the song they sing can be boring to watch. They can’t delight an audience. It is hard to separate the two, they are inseparably one.

It is interesting to mention here that animals too are known to use body language to communicate deception, so as this feature of communication would benefit them so as to continue their existence.
For example, monkeys and apes were known to pretend not to be interested in a preferred object while a dominant animal was watching. They later sneak back to get it.

In another observation, an animal kept on limping after being hit by an investigator until the latter was out of sight, attempting to deceive the investigator that the punishment was severe enough.

Many interviewers erroneously look at the eyes to extract truths which they believe will not come out from a candidate’s mouth. But if you want to find out if someone is lying, a better indicator will be derived by posing a statement or asking a question and then listening, while at the same time looking. (observing)

This is called the ‘L’ squared mode in detecting deception. You may see stationary hands on the lap or even the rocking of the foot if the legs are crossed. Understanding body language cues helps us to identify the dishonest ones. It helps us avoid these people to our financial detriment.

The ancient Chinese has a proverb which says, “Watch out for the man whose stomach does not move when he laughs”. In their wisdom, the Chinese knew that if you look closely enough there are non-verbal tell tale signs that gives away the dishonest ones.

How then can one learn to see this non-verbal tell tale signs? There are two ways. One is through the University of Hard Knocks that is, learning through your own experiences which are the long, hard and costly way.

The other way is to learn from the experience, knowledge and skills of others which you can gain from my public body language seminar to be held at the Furama Hotel, Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur on the 29th & 30th July 2015.

Register early and get an early bird discount. See flyer in this same blog. Attend this course, you may avoid been conned.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

In memory of all innocent souls of MH 370

Was Anwar REALLY and FULLY convinced Captain Zaharie was not an extremist?
I refer to the article by Malaysian Insider, 20th March, attached below, on Anwar defends pilot of missing flight MH370, says he is not an extremist.” Here is my verbal behavior analysis of Anwar’s interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour.
To me, superior and advanced technology sometimes is a nonentity compared to a man’s greater capability in surpassing all of them, machines and methods. In short, mental inclinations, truly can out shine any and all of man’s creation. For what man can make another man can break.

The question that’s comes to my mind now is. Was Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim REALLY and FULLY convinced Captain Zaharie’s mental inclinations were not that of an extremist or revolutionary? Personally, I don’t think so. Truthfully, I say Anwar doubts Zaharie’s integrity.
I base it on the recorded verbal response of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim to questions. By analyzing it, I strongly say that our ‘Great’ Anwar Ibrahim found it extremely difficult to manage his personal bias about Zaharie.

His verbal behavior tells me more about his fears than his beliefs in the interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour, when he weekly defended Captain Zaharie Ahmad Shah. Though well prepared, Anwar Ibrahim leaked in his verbal response, when he feebly defended Zaharie saying that Captain Zaharie Ahmad Shah was not an extremist.

When asked whether Captain Zaharie was a family member, Anwar said in too many words rather than adequately. "What my daughter-in-law told me is that he is a family member, not too close, but she calls him 'uncle,' which is quite common here, Anwar said. “But I know him basically as a party activist."
My analysis of Anwar’s answer is that he clearly fails to answer the question directly with a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. Instead he cautiously chatters, His long winded reply is irrelevant to the question asked. Is Captain Zaharie a family member? 

Anwar further says, “But she calls him uncle,” opposing what his daughter in law said that he is a family member. Since he adds that calling him ‘uncle’ is quite common here, to me Anwar Ibrahim is saying that so as to manage our perception of the issue at hand, that he is not that close in relationship and he wants to influence our perception of the issue to be favorable to him rather than to create unnecessary issues that comes with close proximity or by saying clearly and straight to the point, YES, he is a family member like what his daughter in law said.

On Anwar’s statement, “But I know him, basically as a party activist." Here Anwar is defensive about his family’s relationship with Zaharie, for he says, “But I know him” he tries to avoid been dragged into a situation where he may be asked specifically if he was close as a family member, quickly Anwar again manages our perception, when he adds saying, “basically as a party activist.”

The word used here is “basically” which is a flexible verbal indicator, in psychology or deceptive studies we call it an exclusion qualifier. An exclusion qualifier is usually used by people who want to withhold certain information so as not to answer your question truthfully at the same time without releasing further information that may open to other undesirable questions that he may not like to face up to.  

This remark came after CNN’s Amanpour quoted Anwar's press secretary as telling CNN earlier that Captain Zaharie is the opposition leader's "son's wife's mother's father's brother's son".

My verbal analysis: When Anwar’s press secretary made the long relationship statement, "son's wife's mother's father's brother's son".  Though truthful it was aimed to sound very distant, unusually distant, when it can be said proudly and in short, “The Captain is the nephew of his daughter in law’s grandfather.”

Responding to reports in the media that Captain Zaharie had attended Anwar's sodomy appeal hearing on March 7, a day before he piloted MH370, Anwar said: "He was not in the court. He MAY have been outside, in the premises of the court. But from what I gather, from many of our colleagues, nobody actually saw him in the premises of the court."

My verbal behavior analysis: When Anwar said, “He was not in court. He MAY have been outside in the premise of the court.” But later he says, “But from what I gather, from many of our colleagues, nobody actually saw him in the premises of the court”

Then why does he say at first, that he MAY have been outside in the premises of the court. This statement  was clearly an inconsistent statement lacking coherence because he later says nobody actually saw him in the premises of the court.

Is Anwar concealing something here? Here again, the statement, I, is singular but in the same line he says in the plural, when he says from many of OUR colleagues. Truthful, believing people will say, from many of MY colleagues.
When CNN’s Amanpour asked whether Captain Zaharie could have had a particularly strong reaction to the sentence meted out by the court, Anwar said: "I gathered later from many of his colleagues and from what is written about him that he was disturbed.
Many others were disturbed. I mean, we were shocked and appalled by the speed of the process of the court of appeal.”

My verbal behavior analysis:  When Amanpour asked whether Zaharie could have had a particularly strong reaction to the sentence meted out by the court, Anwar did not answer the question directly, Yes or No, instead he replied that the Captain was disturbed, only indirectly answering the question. “Could Zaharie have had a particularly strong reaction?”

Why was the question not answered directly but indirectly? It was because by answering indirectly, he was able to lessen the impact of the Captain’s “particularly strong reaction.”

 Anwar further says: "I gathered later from many of his colleagues and from what is written about him that he was disturbed. Many others were disturbed. I mean, we were shocked and appalled by the speed of the process of the court of appeal.”

Anwar here was repeating the use of strong words like shocked and appalled, the speed of the process of the court and again Anwar did not answer directly to the question about Zaharie’s personal strong reaction but instead, mentioned about many others who were also disturbed and were shocked and appalled.

Anwar’s answer was irrelevant to CNN’s Amanpour’s question. Clearly, Anwar was indirectly saying that the Captain did particularly have a strong reaction to the sentence meted out. Indicating indirectly that the Captain had indeed reacted strongly.

Further saying, "But I think that's quite normal. I don't think it's something that would trigger a person of his expertise and caliber, to do any unwanted activity. I am absolutely certain of that.”

Here again how can anyone be absolutely certain about anything, when the only thing that was absolutely  certain to all  of us, was that, the one who piloted the plane as Captain and leader of the ill fated plane, MH 370, was none other than Zaharie.

Earlier Anwar said likewise, "He supports our multiracial coalition. He supports democratic reform. He is against any form of extremism."

But one must understand that our logic about anybody’s credibility, expertise and caliber can be blown out of the water and anybody’s expectations about how unyielding a person of high caliber would be in professing his innocence can be crushed.

In my decades of teaching the subject of deception, I have learnt one very important lesson, that human behavior doesn’t always conform to what seems sensible to us and that what seems sensible to us isn’t necessarily valuable in evaluating how a person thinks or acts, we can’t be absolutely certain of anything.
No one can know the psychological discomfort Captain Zaharie felt when he received the information that had potentially negative consequences, causing his mind to race with hypothetical ramifications of the judgment and sentencing of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim and at the unusual speed of the development of the court of appeal.

Anwar told Amanpour that, "I find it shocking that (the government officials) are not able, that they were not able, or they give some very scanty sort of information.”

My analysis here, of his verbal reaction, at this point is, did the Government very early suspect something they are not telling us, like the Malay saying, “Harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi?” (You put the fence to protect the rice fields, instead the fence eats up the rice.)

Anwar Ibrahim further says, "The problem is credibility of the leadership. They are culpable because there is a general perception that they are not opening up, that there is an opaque system at work."

My verbal behavior analysis:  Anwar says, "The problem is credibility of the leadership. They are culpable (guilty) because there is a general perception that they are not opening up, that there is an opaque system at work."

Was Anwar at the end of the interview, blaming the government for what has happened. Was he unintentionally and subconsciously conceding with a message that Captain Zaharie had infact punished the Government?

Does Anwar Ibrahim hence really, fully and deeply convinced beyond doubt, that Captain Zaharie was not an extremist?

Jackson Yogarajah.
President Body Language Surveillance Society of Malaysia

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Human Lie Detector

A dead giveaway

Tuesday May 12, 2009

I REFER to the article, Friendly Persuasion (StarTwo, April 29) and the opinion of Dr Coral Dando of Lancaster Univer­sity’s Department of Psychol­ogy. When asked if body language plays a role in determining if a person is lying, Dando said no. Even though British officers are taught a lot about body language, she said there is no such thing as a dead giveaway.
Her reply that body language does not play a role in determining if a person is lying and that there is no dead giveaway reveals that she does not know the subject of body language intimately.
Almost 3,000 years ago when a difficult problem of parental identity was presented to King Solomon, it was the inward emotions (body language) of the real mother who stopped the cutting of her baby into two – a dead giveaway – that made King Solomon’s judicial decision go down in history.
In his book, People Watching, Dr Desmond Morris says this about lying: “Even in the most self-aware faces, tiny micro-expressions leak the truth. These micro-expressions are caused by the face’s all-too-rapid efficiency in registering inner feelings. When a mood-change seeks expression, it can expect to be registered by the alteration in the set of facial muscles in much less than a second. The counter-message from the brain tells the face to “shut up”, which often fails to catch up with the primary mood-change message.
“The result is that a facial expression begins and then, a split second later, is cancelled by the counter-message. What happens on the face during the split-second delay is a tiny, fleeting hint of an expression. It is suppressed so quickly that most people never see it, but if watched for carefully during lying sessions, it can be detected and is then one of the best (dead giveaways) of deception clues.”
However, for the untrained observer, after special training, using slow-motion films, one can spot them in normal-speed films of interviews. So to a trained expert, even the face cannot lie. Therefore there are dead giveaways in body language that help in making a decision when no other evidence is available, and help narrow down the number of suspects in a persuasive interrogation.
Thus body language plays a very important role in determining when a person is lying and there are dead giveaways that can reveal to investigators a lie. For that reason, one should practise a holistic approach or the whole person concept in investigations.
Jackson Yogarajah 
Strategic Excellence Training
Kuala Lumpur

Reading body language

Jackson Yogarajah : ‘You cannot read a liar like a
mystery novel and there is
no definite way of detecting deception.’

Wednesday April 29, 2009

BODY language expert Jackson Yogarajah believes one can determine if a person is telling the truth by observing and interpreting her or his actions. However, he cautions that “you cannot read a liar like a mystery novel and there is no definite way of detecting deception.”
“But in body language, we know the rules and interpretation, and the psychology of a deceptive person,” said Jackson, who has trained personnel in the Royal Malaysian Police Force as well as other government agencies. He has also trained Customs officers in Indonesia.
He said in body language, a particular action does not have a defined meaning, unlike words. In looking for signs of deception, an investigator needs to look at a cluster of actions rather than base his conclusion on just one action.
“You have to see three or more actions in a pattern,” he said. “Even so, we don’t have a body language expert who can catch a liar 100% of the time. It’s already very good if it’s 80% of the time.”
The cluster or patterns of behaviour are then taken within their context, with an eye on the congruence of actions, whether the behaviours match the words. These are compared with what is known as a person’s baseline behaviour, that is, their natural behaviour in a comfortable environment.
“You talk to him about his family, his school, his work, and develop a comfortable rapport, and you will get to know him and his personality,” said Jackson. “Then you come to the deceptive side of him when you question him. That’s where your questioning techniques come into play, the type of questions you pose, and you see his reaction to them. And you base it on three or four of his actions, not just one. And only then can you reach a decision. But then again, it doesn’t mean you can see that he’s telling the truth for sure, because people can prepare themselves and deceive. There are so many things involved.”
He said neuroscientists have given us a clearer picture of what the unspoken signs and signals mean, that is, how the brain processes non-verbal cues. He feels it is important to teach investigators and interrogators to understand what it means to be human.
“Body language is a part of sociology, psychology, anthropology, psychiatry and human relations,” said Jackson. “So a good understanding of body language helps investigators to avoid, in certain cases, a judgmental attitude.”
Jackson believes in keeping the suspect or interviewee as comfortable as possible, so that his baseline behaviour can be determined.
“And then you can formulate your questions, use them and see the changes in his behaviour. You can compare that with his earlier behaviour. It can help you in making a decision when no other evidence is available,” he said.
“It is not about scaring a suspect or pressuring him,” he added. “It is about making a suspect comfortable, so that the signs would show, and the investigator can make the best possible conclusion.” – By Allan Koay

Body Language Preconceptions

In those days when I was conducting non-verbal communication seminars, sales organization often overwhelm me with their replies. ”I don’t think you can get anything out of a body language seminar; the salespeople won’t be interested in a boring subject.”

This preconception about body language wasn’t an isolated case then. People in positions were just ignorant. They were not aware that it was a subject taught in universities as a big part of communication. Even today in this 21st century we need to debunk and explain these biases about these body language seminars to these aliens to arouse interest in them.

But wait a moment, because, the first international conference on non-verbal communication was only held in the 20th century recently (1967) in Oxford, organized by Britain’s famed authors and doctors of social psychology, Dr Michael Argyle and Dr Ralp Exlline. It was long after the 19th century (1872) publication by Charles Darwin on the first scientific study of nonverbal communication, “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.” So how could we be so well-read.

Today, institutes and centers for Non verbal studies have prospered both in Britain and in the United States of America. Writings and research on findings and communication techniques have filled books more so since the “Decade of the Brain” (1990 – 2000) discoveries in neuroscience where we have been provided a clearer picture of what the unspoken signs and signals mean. Because we now know how the brain processes nonverbal cues it has contributed much to self-improvement, interrogations, salesmanship, and therapies for normal and abnormal people and for those used by encounter groups.

The first is body language is not important; oral language will do. On the contrary, there are clear and important similarities between verbal and non-verbal language.

Both are modes of communication. You use words when you have to be precise, detailed, or want to talk through problems, plans, solutions, and you use them to influence another person but not without the use of non-verbals, that is, appearance, posture, gesture, gaze, proximity, vocal qualities, facial expressions and smells.

Most of us are not aware that non-verbal and verbal communication has different functions. We don’t express emotions through words alone; we use our face and body too.

When establishing and maintaining friendships and other relationships we can’t do without non-verbal communication signals, such as proximity, tone of voice, touch, gaze and facial expressions.

In creating impressions on others through our physical behavior, we are deliberately or involuntarily sending a non-verbal message across and that’s important for both senders and receivers.

2. The second preconception is that body language differs across the world, so it is not important to learn it. To an extent, gestures vary in meaning in other parts of the world, but that only makes the study even more fascinating and relevant.

Desmond Morris, who traveled to more than 60 countries while making field studies of human behavior, says that certain familiar gestures do disappear and other strange ones take their place, but there are gestures that do not differ at all.

In fact, he says, they are universal and make you feel at home even when you are on the other side of the globe.

A smile is a smile the world over; a frown is a frown; a stare is a stare. Arms folding shows defensiveness; arms placed on the hips reveal that I feel anti-social-these are common gestures all over the world.

3. The third preconception is that body language is manipulative; you can put on a show just to get your way and therefore it is undesirable.

That’s only seeing the other side of the coin. All scientific discoveries can be used for good or bad and body language skills are no exception.

Skills in body language techniques and its importance in social behavior do not make being genuine and sincere less pleasing.

Individuals must exercise some restraint in their interpersonal feelings, such as aggression, if their organization or group is to function harmoniously.

It has been said that the most effective and desirable behavior is that of controlling the inner expressions of one’s feelings, which is one of the social training skills in body language.

Therefore, we should not assume that the skilled body language exponent will spend his time playing tricks on other people and controlling situations to his advantage.

4. The fourth preconception is that body language awareness and skills make people self-conscious and awkward in their interaction with others.

To answer that any trainer will tell you that when a person learns a new skill, such as handling a car or bicycle for the first time, he goes through stages when the behavior is awkward and requires full attention. Once these stages are over and competence is acquired, he doesn’t need to reflect on the training while he is driving or cycling. The skill to do that is habitual. The same is true with body language skills.

5. The fifth preconception about body language is that a single gesture means a single thing. Crossed arms, for example, may mean a closed mind, but it can also mean anxiety, anger or feeling cold. You can’t interpret one gesture without considering the whole context.

RULES FOR INTERPRETINGIn body language there are four main rules for interpreting. The first rule is cluster, where you have to look out for three or more gestures in order to interpret correctly.

The second rule is context, where we must take gestures into account based with the situation and the identity of the person using those. A person seated with arms and legs tightly crossed in a cold room, for example, may not mean a closed mind, but feeling cold.

The third is congruence where your gestures should match your verbal communication.

The forth rule is culture. Certain gestures vary in meaning with different cultures. For example stroking the beard in Israel means, “I am deep in thought”.” In Austria the same gesture means “How boring”. In Ghana if you show your thumb with the other fingers cupped like the way some Malaysians show direction it would mean you are showing a vulgar sign to get lost.

BODY LANGUAGE SKILLS FOR PROFESSIONALSBody language skills training can benefit and be applied to most professions, especially those who interact with others during work. Let us look at two careers and how its application can benefit others.

School teachers who lack body language skills won’t be good at teaching. Studies of American and European children who got the most out of formal learning showed that it was the consistent non-verbal skills of the teacher which made them effective and which created the environment for effective learning.

Firstly, good teachers who like others and are likeable smile and engage in eye contact with their students. They will try to stand close, bend to compensate for height difference and would nod approval of what students say or do.

Secondly, good teachers are confident and remain in control by standing tall, being relaxed and will laugh to encourage genuine laughter in others without making fun of others.

They will always look out for their students’ body language signs that need attention and will act immediately.

Thirdly, good teachers create interest in the subject by varying their facial expression and gestures when speaking; they lean forward and show genuine excitement to explain the topic effectively.

On the other hand, bad teachers shows dislike and are disliked when they hide behind the barrier of the desk; exhibit negative movements, tense gestures and closed postures. They don’t touch students, have poor eye contact and seldom smile.

Secondly, bad teachers who are not confident and often lose control are nervous, have tense voices that stammer and don’t notice body language signals that need attention.

Thirdly, bad teachers manufacture boredom in their students through their subject by monotonous voices, by moving about just a little in class, by getting bored themselves and showing unconscious signs of anger.

SALESPEOPLESalespeople who quit the selling profession often are unaware that their main problem is failing to understand the body language of their prospects and their own.

Their ability to interact with prospective customers through an understanding of behaviors, feelings and reaction to situations can help them sell well and keep them in their profession.

In body language skills training for salespeople, I often conduct role-playing, where a selling skill away from the real situation is first discussed then demonstrated.

I usually provide a written account of the background of the people and the situation and get my trainees to role-play.

For example, a prospective customer allows for interruption or answers the telephone. What does this behavior suggest and what should you do?

In role playing, I seek out the best selling techniques for dealing with that particular situation and then allow a feedback which may come from the other members of the group, which is done without disturbing those, involved.

Sales trainees who transfer what they have learnt in my training sessions to the real world of selling often grow in confidence not only in understanding their prospect’s behaviors better but in reacting with effective behavior of their own.

If you are one who has preconceptions about body language, then you have failed to know that we all communicate more with out bodies than with our words.

Albert Mehrabian researched the total impact of a message in communication and found that seven per cent is words while 38 per cent is the tone of voice, inflection and other sounds (vocal) and 55 per cent was non-verbal. Similar estimates were later confirmed by other researchers.

Strangely, we emphasize the verbal aspects of communication and have ignored the more than 90 per cent of the non-verbal aspects of communication.

We rely on words and then wonder why we sometimes miscommunicate, misunderstand, and fail to learn from it. We only know too well, that the biggest problem in all relationships is communication and yet end up doing the wrong thing. We should base the ideas we have about body language on sufficient information and experience.

He Knows When You’re Lying

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 15, 2012 - 14:32   Malay Mail

“I WAS lying to you.”

Jackson Yogarajah (pic) tilts his head, but doesn’t show surprise or any changes in his facial expression. He seemed distant, uninterested.

“I was lying to you,” this reporter repeats again.

“I know,” came the curt reply. The reporter had just spent some 10 minutes narrating a fictional story of how he had given the police a miss while he was abusing drugs some four years ago. Jackson, however, does not buy the story from the word go. “You were not expressive when you told me. You missed out details. If that’s the truth, you wouldn’t miss out on details.”
The 61-year-old Jackson lives in a small home-cum-office in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur and does something that very few people do in Malaysia — he’s a body language expert and trainer.
The Kuala Lipis-born Jackson probably is best-known as the author of 55 Reasons Why Sharifah Aini Wasn’t Lying, a 2005 book in which Jackson used 55 body language cues to explain why the veteran singer wasn’t lying when she said she was attacked by two thugs opposite TV3’s headquarters in October the previous year.
The police had failed to find corroborative evidence that Sharifah was attacked and she was accused of fabricating the incident.

“I had to come out and defend her, because I saw that she was not lying. Many people thought she paid me to come up with a book.
But I always tell people, all she gave me was a cup of tea when I visited her at her home,” Jackson told The Malay Mail.He had based his conclusion that she was not lying after watching several of her TV interviews in which she had spoken about the incident.
Months after the book was released, which sold more than 3,000 copies, Jackson received a call from the US, from researchers interested in his book. He sent his book, which was written by extensively quoting and referring to the works of eminent psychologist Paul Ekman, via mail to the US.
Three years later, a new TV series called Lie to Me is produced by 20th Century Fox, which tells the story of Dr Cal Lightman, a body language teacher and trainer (portrayed by Tim Roth).
Ekman was the consultant for the series which ran from 2009 to 2011.
“Many people told me that it might not be a coincidence that the series was conceived after my work was sent there,” Jackson said.
He currently conducts courses for salesmen, agencies, university professors, and even policemen.
“I consider training policemen to be the biggest highlight of my career. I trained Special Branch officers under their invitation so it was no mean feat. They recognise my work,” he said.
He started conducting such courses in 1996 but it took six years before he could do it full-time and embracing it as a profession publicly does have its ups and downs.
“When I tell people what I do, they assume that I am a mind reader. They get uncomfortable.
But people are like books. You don’t read a book you are not interested in. If you are interested, then you flip the pages and try to read,” he said.
“But there are benefits too. I was at an airline ticketing agency once and when I asked the agent if there are other places where I can get the tickets for a cheaper price, she said no, but I knew she was lying.

I looked into her eyes. I went to the next agency and got a cheaper ticket.”  ….Bernama